Secure and reliable relations, with the accumulated positive affection, mutual trust, and mutual understanding, do not immediately arise between partners.
For their development, some couples require more than three years. But how, during this time not to get depressed, not to lose faith in a partner, not to lose your "I" in a relationship?
Stress and conflict
The most common vicious circle in a relationship is stress = conflict, conflict = stress. Experiences, suffering, difficulties in restoring mutual understanding lead both partners to a chronic stressful state. Relationships may begin to be associated with problems, conflicts, troubles if you are continually experiencing stress in them. Today in many couples, it is not customary to tolerate each other.
It's not about indulging and turning the "other cheek" at all. It is just about understanding the partner and his requests and asking him the same in return. Regular conflicts are harmful to both, but one of the partners has to soften the conflict more often than the other or suffer from aggression and attacks. Avoiding conflicts is not the best solution to the problem. By avoiding, you do not decide anything. You postpone the issue indefinitely, forget about it. What's next? Stress from the fact that the problems have accumulated even more.
Problems at work, at school, the child quarreled with his mother; her husband did not praise him for a delicious dinner - stress again. You are upset, depressed, and offended. And at this moment, when you have so much negative, stressful, your man begins to get angry.
You didn't turn to him that way; you answered wrong, you didn't look so. Not only that, and thus enough problems, so the husband still exacerbates. Again, a vicious circle. Everything is not as it should. Similar situations are familiar to many couples, especially in the early years of marriage.
What to do? - Break the vicious circle.
Freedom from stress in relationships
Why are we getting into a relationship? For the sake of love, care, happiness, success, prosperity - hundreds of motives. But the most important is for an inner sense of security and peace. But what is the paradox?
If a woman is not calm by herself, irritated continuously, and seeks out an occasion to be upset, she will never be free from stress and will never feel safe even with her most caring husband.
Let us begin to look for freedom from stress in ourselves. We need a conscious understanding that we are safe. That a man also experiences emotions; they can be completely different from yours, which is normal.
If you bring problems to the house, you bring stress. For example, you fought with a friend, or you were rude to a subordinate. Does this mean that the problem needs to be inflated at home? Do you need the support of your husband in this matter, which does not directly concern him? Or are you already at that age when you can comprehend and resolve such situations yourself? Do not create artificially stressful situations, and life will become much calmer. Allow yourself to be freed from stress in a relationship, realize that it is superfluous in them - live calmly. The fundamental differences in the relationship will be considered further. But do not trifle in relationships, and then the stress will be much less.
Wisdom comes over the years
Does wisdom come over the years? She is growing up. And when you grow spiritually and morally, the partner has to become after you. Stress resistance is observed in those couples who have healthy, trusting relationships.
How to trust him if he has done so much for you? Do you live now, will you live tomorrow, or is your past deciding everything? Again, do not go in cycles, experience situations, and live further.
Learn to breathe properly
Do not test your heart if you are angry and feel a rapid heartbeat - reduce its amplitude with breathing, so you can relax and avoid stress.
Do you understand that your husband or girlfriend is wrong and puts pressure on you? Provokes? But are you to blame for this? No? Do not react. That is not your anger. That is his lack of expression. He is thus trying to convey something to you. In pairs with a stable emotional connection, the partners are calmer and do not create provocative situations. Build sustainable attachment. Help the partner in this matter. Cultivate relationships together; then external stressful conditions will not affect the relationship.
